I spy something boring

While wrestling around with my children the other day, I stopped to grab a drink of water.  (And to be honest, I had enough of playing Destructicons or whatever it was)  As I drank my water I watched them continue on in their game.  My son was using an old spatula as a tool on the end of the arm of a Transformer or some such thing, and my daughter followed his lead by using her toy baby carriage as 'wheels' for her tank.  Her tank consisted of her sitting in her tiny baby stroller holding her left arm out as straight as can be to imitate a canon barrel.  The tank became mobile by her yelling to her brother "go tank go" as he pushed her around the room in order to blow everything my wife and I had worked so hard to acquire to bits.  "Boom, Boom, Boom, look at it burn brother!"  she said with a kind of happiness that was slightly disturbing.

The role playing and imaginative use of everyday objects to suit the 'game' they were playing intrigued me.  I began to think, "Where does that imagination go as we get older?", "Why does it go?", "Why does it go for some but not for others?"  "Why does it seem that becoming a grownup takes the 'kid' out of us?"  So, I examined my own thought processes and the things that utilize my brain capacity.  I have to admit that it was depressing in many ways.

When I was younger I was quite a joker.  I loved to make people laugh.  Part of it was out of necessity as an awkward teen, but it was also part of my core being.  I was the class clown.  I loved taking two seemingly unrelated concepts and developing them into a "role play", then go out and enact my 'skit' on unknowing people.  When they seemed confused or questioned what I was doing, I acted as if they were strange.  I loved Michael Winslow from the Police Academy movies, and tried to make every sound or noise I could think of, just to make myself laugh.  I did a lot of imitations and had great range with my voice.  My Father used to say to me, "Son, you have a calling.".

Now, my brain is full of questions, responsibilities, and reminders.  "Did I pay the heating bill?"; "I have to help my son with his homework later.";  "What can I make for dinner?;  "Did I wash my daughters gymnastics stuff?";  "Don't forget to drop off the dry cleaning for your wife."  I dare say that no time is spent looking through the eyes of a joker anymore.  The lack of laughter in my home is deafening to me, and is it sad and painful.

How do I manage to be a good Husband, Father, and Homemaker without being so damned grown up?